Sunday, March 29, 2009
Today was a real taxing day for me. These past few weeks have really been ones of mental turmoil which have really worn me out. Each and everyday I have been praying for something to happen for God to move.I have utmost trust that he will move,I am just hoping that he will do it soon. It was today that things took a turn for the worse and I really felt like giving up. Facing this issue with Victor and
ZZ as we sat at Macs, got things off my chest, but the issue still remains.
That and other stuff made me further realize the truth about myself. I do not like people. I do not like being around people all the time. Shopping, eating or even spending the entire day by myself is perfectly fine by me. Some people may not be comfortable with the idea of doing that, but I have really enjoyed the alone moments. But the truth is, a Christian's life should not be spent alone. Sad but true. With each friendship you invest in sometimes, you are hurt or perhaps face rejection. Sometimes I wonder am I an IDIOT? A major MORON who has nothing else better to do? Why the heck
am I still continuing on doing what I do?
Today I received a word. He is the potter and I am the clay and God is really putting me through the furnace now as he is moulding me. I hope that I do not break. I really don't want to. All the good things that have been happening lately keeps getting overshadowed by this issue and it
really bugs me. How long? I often wonder. Is there no easier way out?
Kat is just tired. But hopeful nonetheless.
